


the wrong numbers cannot be reversed anymore

by lightningalwaysreturns



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Humor, Fun, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, This Is STUPID, beware the passive voice, hinata is only here on the phone im sryr, post ep 50
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 08:51:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14101794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningalwaysreturns/pseuds/lightningalwaysreturns
Summary: “Lord Hokage, please!” he heard, first thing, before he even made it to the shop stand he’d gotten that alarming phone call from.





	the wrong numbers cannot be reversed anymore

“Lord Hokage, please!” he heard, first thing, before he even made it to the shop stand he’d gotten that alarming phone call from.

Shikamaru had stayed behind to cover for any other mishaps that might crop up while Naruto was away checking on what was looking more and more like a crime scene perpetrated by a group of people he wouldn’t hesitate to call his family. He shook his head when Naruto had left the office to go investigate, laughing under his breath while juggling scrolls and clicking around on the computer for related files in the meantime, with no desire to look in on the disaster that awaited in town. He was headed straight home after he was done here.

The random citizen that had come up to Naruto grabbed his sleeve in plea and he reassured them best as he could that he would take care of the situation, but he could still feel the wariness radiating from underneath the citizen’s concern for the bother to the area. Naruto couldn’t begrudge them much irritability, though—shinobi had a way of getting in the way of daily life for the villagers in new and inventive ways all the time.

Hell, that used to be his very specialty, when he thought back on it, but these people just wanted to enjoy their evening in peace, free of Shino’s swarm of insects, and Naruto actually bowed to the citizen he promised his personal help to on the way to the stand.

Jeez. This was his family, all right.

Shino, one of his closest and most trusted friends, was propped up against the fountain just outside of the stand, red in the face and hiccupping cartoonishly.

Moegi, his little sister figure, and Hanabi, his actual little sister, were propping Shino up by the shoulders with alarmingly different expressions—Hanabi, drunk herself, smiled at the sight of Naruto, whereas Moegi, buzzed enough to be irritated, shouted at him with her eyes half-narrowed, “Lord Seventh, _do_ something?!”

“Where’s Konohamaru?” he asked her, already flickering into his Nine Tails mode. Naruto took care to locate and encapsulate all of Shino’s insects within an arm of chakra that would keep them safe and sequestered until Shino could be revived. It wasn’t difficult since all he had to do was suss out all the swarms of Shino’s chakra buzzing out everywhere.

Soon, the surprised shouts of distress that had overtaken the middle of town simmered down, as the number of Shino’s insects lessened.

“They’re still inside.” Moegi pointed to the stand, which a small cloud of insects still inhabited. “I think Udon passed back out from the shock.”

Naruto snatched them up real quick, putting a final tally on the total. He wasn’t sure how many insects Shino worked with, but even the thought of housing these millions of little bugs in his body--which, when he held them inside his chakra, sort of felt similar—discouraged him away from trying to take out. Besides, his sensory perception was top-tier. If it turned out that somehow any insects had escaped his grasp, he’d help Shino find any more of them later on. After he woke up, of course.

“Are you two okay here?” Naruto asked.

He looked down at Moegi and Hanabi still propping the unconscious Shino upright. Hanabi was sitting with her back to the fountain the same way that Shino was, a slack smile on her face as she slid her phone from her kimono and set her shoulder against Shino’s.

“Moegi, come closer, you’re not in the picture,” Hanabi said, her arm outstretched for a selfie.

“I don’t feel like taking a picture right now!” Moegi said.

Hanabi lowered her arm, glancing across Shino to Moegi on his other side, with a moue. “Maybe… maybe later, then?”

Moegi froze and blinked at her before turning back to Naruto. “I—?”

“Big Bro!” And that was Konohamaru, no mistake, loose enough in tone that Naruto could tell he was plastered. Since the inauguration, he’d been careful to refer to Naruto by title, out of respect for the both of them, but none of that careful reserve had shouted out his name just now.

Naruto looked up to find Konohamaru stumbling from out of the stand, both his hands cupped under Udon’s armpits, who had indeed passed (back) out and was as flush-faced as Hanabi outside, trying to rouse Shino by swaying him back and forth. Moegi joined her for a selfie with Shino in the middle.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Konohamaru continued, tripping over Udon’s body as he dragged him. “Please tell Boruto he can’t take the upcoming Chunin Exams or he’ll—”

Hanabi gasped, jumped to her feet (Moegi and Shino kind of shifted sideways without her support, at first) and clasped a hand on Naruto’s shoulder to get his attention. “That’s right! He can’t! We won’t let him, will we, Konohamaru senpai?”

“Not my kid brother! Not on my watch!”

“Not my nephew! I don’t think so!”

“Both of you are idiots…” Moegi mumbled. She tipped Shino’s head back to make sure he was okay before rising, unhurriedly, and shuffling back to the shop stand.

Naruto shook his head. This was his family, all right. He’d have to take care of them for the night, but that was okay. He had help.

“Hinata? Yeah, I’m sorry to bother you so late, but the kids had a bit of a time in town. Is it okay if I bring them home? Everyone’s drunk and I have about a million tiny bugs housed in a ball of my chakra.”

“I’m not going home with you, Lord Seventh,” Moegi said, pouring herself another drink. “I’m not 14 anymore.”

Konohamaru had finally stumbled close enough to the fountain to deposit Udon next to Shino so the two of them could prop each other up.

Hanabi gasped. “Big Sis? Give me the phone!”

“What—?” It was out of Naruto’s hand before he even knew she’d swiped it.

“Big Sis, why don’t you love me anymore? I want to come over. Let us. I’ll make breakfast.”

“No, I will!” Konohamaru reached for the phone, but Hanabi threw him one look, and he froze in place. Instead, he faced Naruto while Hanabi carried on on the phone with Hinata. “I’ll even make Moegi’s favorite so she has to come and we can all go there right now, right? I can take one, you can take the other.”

Naruto raised his eyebrows as he glanced at Udon and Shino collapsed against each other on the fountain.

“No need,” Hanabi said. She dropped Naruto’s phone back into his hand, so proud of herself that she stood with her fists at her hips. “I’ll be doing the heavy lifting, boys. You just stand back. We’re going home.” She started toward Udon and Shino while pushing back one of her sleeves, and Naruto was only saved by Shino’s groggy rousing.

He looked around open-mouthed for a second before landing on Naruto, the brightest point of light in town at this time of night with his chakra setting everything warm around them.

“Naru… to…?”

“Yo, Shino.” He smiled and put the phone back to his ear. “I might be down one ball of chakra bugs, but the situation still stands, Hinata.”

“Let me talk to Big Sis, too!” Konohamaru said.

“We’ll be home soon, don’t worry,” Hanabi said.

“I’m not going with you guys!” Moegi called out.

“You say that, but I know your weakness,” Konohamaru said, and went to divulge his evil plan to her.

“Ugh, I feel terrible…” Shino held his head in his hands and bend his knees to prop up on.

“Do you, uh… want these back?” Naruto extended the insects he held in his hand in a giant swarm, but Shino glanced over at it for only a few seconds before curling away towards Udon.

“Too bright,” he mumbled.

Naruto laughed.

Hinata sighed from the other end of the line. “I’ll get everything ready for you guys.”

“Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me. Are you coming home to sleep, too?” she asked.

Naruto cast a glance around the shopping centre at the people around him. By now, Shikamaru had probably already left the office, and whatever Naruto had to take care of following his meeting with the feudal lord would still be there in a couple more hours, no matter what he did. And Hinata wouldn’t begrudge him another late night at work, of course. But… 

With his best friend’s voice in his ear saying _Bring the family over_ , his two little sisters, two little brothers and close friend scattered blindly around him, Naruto took a deep breath and made up his mind.

“Yeah. Yeah, Hinata, we’re all coming home. Thank you again.”

She let out a little laugh. “Then I’ll see you soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like an hour after watching that episode i offer no excuses this is dumb lazy fun for me lol
> 
> and i picked this irrelevant ass title bc the full line is "papa and mama made a mistake; the wrong numbers cannot be reversed anymore" and if that aint naruhina here.........


End file.
